


Lordstorm and the Cliches: Alien in Heat and Alien Bits

by Kelkat9



Series: Lordstorm and His LiveJournal Adventures [11]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Alien Biology, Alien Sex, Crack, F/M, Humor, Mating Cycles/In Heat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 10:00:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8886607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kelkat9/pseuds/Kelkat9
Summary: The Doctor learns about the topics of alien in heat and alien anatomy as a trope in fanfic.





	

Rose had just walked into the house, her arms filled with bags after a very successful shopping trip, when a frantic Doctor skidded to a stop in front of her.

“Doctor, what’s wrong?” she asked as she set one bag down, noting the unhappy expression on his face and the copious amount of hair pulling he was exhibiting. The hair pulling did concern her. It couldn’t be good and she was quite fond of his hair.

“It’s this new LJ community. Your… I mean pinkvixen08 and her lot are driving me mad!”

Rose winced. This was a topic she was not fond of and only made her remember the ultimate reveal of Lordstorm to her mother and the resulting smut fic discussion which still made her want to run away screaming. “Yeah, well you did agree to help them.”

“Yes, but that was before they started some suggestion post about their favorite clichés.”

Rose grinned and swung shopping bag she knew contained some new lingerie. “Thought you liked clichés. You seemed pretty satisfied after our last few discussions on them,” Rose said, with a sexy satisfied grin.

He smirked a bit. “Yes, well that was us not…” He shuddered and then continued. “Pinkvixen08 and her Smutastic community.

Rose stared at him and dropped her last shopping bag with a thud. “Sorry, did you say Smutastic? That’s what they’re calling themselves?” she asked, with a mixture of incredulity and horror. He nodded and paced back and forth, his hands shoved into his pockets. Rose shook her head 

“I can’t even… that is to say, this isn’t… Didn’t we sort of agree that we’d never ever discuss the whole pink vixen thing again?” she asked when she was able to speak

He stopped and turned to her. “But Roooose, you don’t understand! They’re talking about Lordstorm and these raunchy human fantasies about aliens!” he whinged. He paced a couple more feet, stopped and stood up straight. “You’re mum is behind this. Only she would come up with something so completely …” He was so upset he couldn’t even say it and for the Doctor, this was almost unheard of.

Rose sighed. “All right, fine, tell me what it is?” she finally asked, not really wanting to know but realizing if he didn’t get it out of his system, he would be fretting and hair pulling about it for hours. She grabbed his hand and dragged him into the living room so they could have a proper discussion. She sat on the sofa while he paced back and forth gesturing with his hands.

“Well, they started this discussion thread about stories where the lead male character, alien of course, goes into heat. Heat, Rose! Like a…a cat!” he shouted out in disgust. “A cat Rose! Seriously, your Mum has…”

“Doctor! We are not talking about my Mum!” Rose exclaimed, interrupting his rant. “We’re talking about some smut loving LJ fans. I can’t have this conversation with you talking about my Mum and smut in the same sentence.”

“Right.” he said, nodding his head. “Pinkvixen08 is behind this. I know it!” he said, and sniffed indignantly. “As if a Time Lord would be compared to a yowling cat unable to control it’s urges to procreate,” he muttered, picking things up off a shelf and slamming them down in an offended Time Lordy tantrum. Rose sat back and watched him walk back and forth muttering and practically destroying an ugly statute of a duck he had purchased at curiosity shop.

Suddenly, he stopped and turned to her. “Oh, and I haven’t told you the worst part!” She raised her eyebrows as he continued. “Next in line in their little kinky discussion was alien bits! What is the obsession with the anatomical differences of an alien’s sexual organs? I mean, I know humans tend to obsess over sex but, seriously some of these women have some strange imaginations. They had a whole discussion about ridges, tentacles, appendages, hooks, the magically appearing penis and their favorite, the practically, nonexistent refractory period.”

Rose giggled after all of this. “What! You think it’s funny?” he said in outrage.

“Doctor, I told you, this is all a bit of fantasy. Sides, I kind of like those differences,” she said, with a cheeky grin.

He raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. “Oh really. Suppose you think Lordstorm should write something on the topic.”

She curled up on the sofa and looked up at him with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Well, he would know all about it now wouldn’t he?”

He smirked and slowly made his way over to her loosening his tie and tossing his jacket over a chair. He slid onto the sofa next to her, and snapped his fingers. The laptop sitting on the coffee table popped open. He soniced it, set the sonic on the table and turned to Rose. “New setting, it records what we say and transcribes it to the laptop.”

“Everything?” she asked, eyeing the laptop with suspicion.

“Some of Lordstorm’s best work comes from his most lovely and inspiring muse. She tends to stimulate his creativity and vivid imagination” he explained, his voice taking on a sexy tone. “Now then, so you think Lordstorm should write something about the brilliant wanderer suddenly developing a biologic condition akin to a rapid and uncontrollable desire to mate?”

“Mmmm yeah,” Rose answered, reaching over, sliding his tie off and unbuttoning his dress shirt. “Course, he’s in the vortex when it happens. Maybe in the middle of maintenance so they can’t you know, leave.”

The Doctor smiled as she gently ran her hands across his chest sliding his shirt off of him. “So, your saying that this sudden compulsion to procreate happens when his fantastic time machine is presently in pieces. He can’t focus on anything other than his delightfully voluptuous companion who has no clue that he’s so focused on her feminine attributes.”

Rose smiled showing just the tip of her tongue. “Yeah, so what’s he gonna do about it?” she asked, as she shifted so she was partially in his lap. He leaned over nuzzling her neck as his hands skimmed her abdomen and slid beneath her bra to cup her breasts. 

“Hmmmm well, you see his companion is sitting on the pilot seat reading a magazine blissfully unaware of how he’s staring at her long, lean legs. She’s wearing the most distracting and revealing denim mini skirt with this tight pink t-shirt and a denim jacket which is most egregiously hiding her pert, full breasts. He walks around her and his sensitive alien olfactory senses detects the sweet scent of her which, in his present state, is driving him even further over the edge.”

Rose straddled his lap and wrapped her arms around him grazing his bare back with her nails eliciting a groan. “Yeah, what’d he do next?”

The Doctor shifted so that Rose was laying beneath him with one of her legs curved around his hip. He pulled her t-shirt off and gazed into her eyes for a moment before delicately kissing her neck and nibbling her earlobe. 

“He took her magazine away. She was outraged until she saw the look in his eyes. He stood in between her legs and leaned into her until she was pinned against seat, between his arms, his hand’s tightly gripping the back of the seat on either side of her. He whispered into her ear that something had caused a release of hormones in his body triggering an uncontrollable urge to procreate and he couldn’t stop it. Now, all he could think about was her and how she would sound and feel beneath him as he proved his superior biology to her in every way imaginable. This, of course, made her breath catch.”

The Doctor moved to the other side of Rose’s neck to pay it appropriate attention as her hands deftly unfastened and unzipped his trousers. “Rose,” he gasped, as her hand cupped and caressed him.

“You were saying about the sexy traveler explaining his urges to his lusty companion,” she whispered huskily to him, as she next worked on loosening his trousers and tugging them down.

“Oh yes,” he practically moaned, as Rose used her now bare foot to run up and down his leg further tugging down his trousers. One of her hands was now running through his hair and delicately scratching his scalp with her nails. “The amazingly brilliant traveler observed her, gauging her reaction and noting her dilated eyes and increased pheromones indicating her desire to accommodate his urges.”

Rose stopped and pulled back to look at him. “Seriously? That’s the best you got?”

He looked down at her and smiled. “All right Rose Tyler, you asked for it. You want smut, I’ll give you uncontrollable alien lust with incredible alien bits like you cannot imagine,” he promised her, in a sexy voice and with an erotic look in his eyes before he leaned down to snog the breath out of her. He grinned and leaned down to whisper in her ear while his hands unfastened and removed her lavender lace bra which he threw over his shoulder. 

“When his companion moaned at his seductive whispering into her ear, he lost all control and gathered her up, carrying her off to a room he had not seen or used in centuries. The door opened to a space glowing with a soft golden light emitted by hundreds of candles around a sunken pit filled with an array of soft, silken pillows. He dropped into the pit and began tugging and ripping off her clothing.

"He was a creature of instinct now, bypassing the parts of his brain that contained his self control. Before him, was a willing and desirable female to satisfy this incredible driving burning need within him. She helped him finish undressing both of them except for his trousers. He pushed her back into the pillows, climbed over her sitting on his knees astride her hips. He gazed down at her soft warm body and licked his lips at the thought of licking and tasting every part of her. Her hands were caressing him now and paused at his trousers. He suddenly shifted and yanked her to her knees so that she was close enough to feel the heat radiating from him." The Doctor nipped Rose's ear in emphasis before continuing, his breath ghosting over her ear.

"He stared deeply into her eyes asking for permission to continue to worship her. Her hands wrapped around his neck and tugged him down to her lips. She initiated a slow, sensuous kiss that stoked his passion. He trailed kisses down her cheek and neck until he reached her ample breasts where he truly began worshiping her, sucking, licking and kissing them his hands wandering down between her legs testing and teasing the slick, silken area . As his fingers grew bolder and her little whimpers and moans encouraged him, he pushed her down onto the soft bed of pillows. She looked up at him with hooded eyes sparkling with desire. She unfastened his trousers and he tugged them down. She gasped. The Traveler looked down at her with a smile. “Alien me” he whispered to her. Her eyes were huge as she admired his frankly magnificent member. She had never seen such an incredible example of virility and…”

“Doctor!” Rose called out, turning her head toward him and giggling.

“What? You know it’s true,” he said, with a cheeky wink. She giggled again. 

“Yeah, but maybe you shouldn’t make it so autobiographical.”

The Doctor grinned as he tugged his own pants off and tossed them aside and proceeded to do the same with Rose’s knickers. “Really, you got any suggestions for what comes next?” he asked, with a waggle of his eye brows as he wiggled around and changed their positions so he was laying on his back while Rose straddled him.

Rose grinned and looked down at him running her hands across his chest to grasp the subject of her exposition.

“What, you want me to describe what the spunky companion thought when she first saw his magnificent alien bits?” At the Doctor’s encouragement, Rose began her part of the story. “Well, after the Traveler revealed his most fit physique to her, she gasped in delight to find that for the most part he wasn’t too different. Although, there were a few intriguing variations from a human male. He seemed thicker and perhaps a bit stubbier...”

“What! What do you mean stubby!” the Doctor asked, in outrage. “That’s a pretty harsh word.”

Rose stopped her caressing and looked at him. “Will ya let me finish?” He looked at her with a petulant expression despite the fact that the object in question was happily erect and being held lovingly in her hands. Rose rolled her eyes. Although he continued to pout, the evidence of his arousal was still demanding her attention and not at all offended by her creative characterization of the Wanderer’s male attributes.

She dipped down and took him into her mouth swirling her tongue around the tip before releasing him with a pop. She looked up to see the Doctor’s eyes glazed and his mouth slack. Satisfied that she had sufficiently silenced her literary critic, she continued the rhythmic caresses she knew he enjoyed. “As I was saying, she was delighted by his shape and size not to mention being relieved there was nothing too intimidating on him. She was a bit intrigued that he seemed a bit self lubricating and was slick when she reached out to caress him.

He moaned at her touch and quickly grabbed her hands before pinning her down with a bit of a growl and a lusty look in his eyes. He slowly lowered and positioned himself at her entrance. He leaned down and touched his forehead to hers as he slid inside of her. She gasped as she was immediately overtaken by an intense wave of pleasure that coursed through her body. He moaned her name as he gripped the pillows on either side of her and surged into her deeper.

Rose paused and shifted slowly lowering herself onto him and beginning to undulate and rock into the Doctor as his eyes darkened and he gripped her hips and met her rhythm with his own. He gasped “Rose.”

Rose carried on with her story as she continued her rocking and swirling motion. “She arched her back as she felt a rush of heat between her thighs and she felt him vibrate and lengthen inside of her. He whispered to her in his native dialect. Tears came to her eyes at the immense feelings of love and affection that he telepathically conveyed to her. That’s when she really understood that he wasn’t just having sex with her, he was making love to her in way she had never felt. Nothing had ever been this intimate or perfect.”

She paused and moaned “Doctor” before she continued. “He was fevered with desire but he was treating her like something precious to be coveted. Each thrust.” Rose matched her motion with the word thrust. “… was slow, controlled and meant to extract the most pleasure for both of them. She cried out with each movement cause it was like she had become more sensitive and he was touching her in places that brought the most pleasure. 

"He whispered in her ear that part of his biology was to assure orgasm was reached so he was exuding a pleasure enhancing lubricant that was chemically adjusting to their biologies to make them more sensitive and stimulate their nerve endings. She heard all of this but couldn’t respond as she felt her first orgasm come crashing down. She cried out and reflexively locked her legs around him. He ground into her as his own orgasm burst within him and he called out her name as a glow of energy surrounded both of them.” Rose screamed out the last part and was joined by the Doctor.

After such a vigorous writing session, the Doctor and Rose collapsed in a contented tangle on the sofa. Rose drifted off to sleep and when she awakened, she saw the Doctor sitting on the floor, naked except for his glasses and tapping away at the laptop.

“Doctor, what you doin?” she asked, in a sleepy and sated voice.

He stopped his typing, smiled and leaned over to gently kiss her. “Finishing up Lordstorm’s next great masterpiece.”

Rose rolled off the sofa and sat down beside him leaning her head on his shoulder. She stared down at the screen and started giggling. He paused and looked down at her. “What?”

“The sonic really did record every sound we made didn’t it?”

“Welll, it’s not perfect technology, but I’m working on it. Besides, we wrote a brilliant story last night and this little baby,” He patted the lap top. “Captured every word.”

Rose shook her head and looked up at his intense and pleased expression as he continued to tap at the laptop. “So you good with those clichés now?”

He looked back at her, his glasses sliding down his nose a bit. “Oh yes,” he said, softly but enthusiastically.

“Mmmm good,” Rose said, and kissed him on the nose as she got up and stretched. “Think I’ll make us some tea,” she told him, as she put on his shirt but left it unbuttoned as she sashayed out of the living room.

He looked at her approvingly. “Naked tea drinking. Now there’s an idea!” he said, with a wildly creative look in his eyes.

Rose rolled her eyes and walked into the kitchen. As she prepared tea, she couldn’t help but grin as she thought about their creative writing session. Maybe this new Smutastic community wouldn’t be so bad after all.


End file.
